My Most Important Adventure Thus Far

I wrote this post before I got my call and wasn’t sure if I’d post it. But since not very many people knew I was making this decision, I thought I’d let whoever wants to know, know how I decided and a little how I’m feeling:

And here’s the video of the opening if you choose: Mission Call Opening¬†

So, as you can tell.. I’m serving a mission. And to say the least, my heart is full. Ever since the day I made the decision to serve a mission, I’ve felt my Heavenly Father’s love stronger than I ever have in my entire life.

For those of you interested in why, and how I decided to serve a mission.. here you go. This is especially for my family.

Yes this is personal, but I think it’s important to share how I have gained my testimony. March 25th, around 2AM (so technically March 26th) was when I decided. I had a L O N G, H A R D day. It’s hard to explain why it was hard, because I didn’t even have a stressful, busy day. My mind never slowed down, I felt hopeless, I was 100% scared of my future, and as hard as it is to admit I felt that nothing could stop the fear and hopelessness I felt. I guess Satan knew what was coming because he was working on me big time. So, after lots of tears for no reason other than no faith, I watched and read three conference talks on replacing fear with faith, and Hope.

(Here is the link to the most inspiring one: The Infinite Power of Hope)

Not even a minute after I finished the talks and closed lds.org did the word “mission” pop into my mind. I wish I could just pull my feelings out of my heart and put them on this post so everyone could experience it, because it was incredible. I was so confused as to why I was even considering a mission at 2 AM after months of pushing it out of my mind.

{Let’s press rewind really fast.. I’ve always considered a mission. It was more of a “when I’m 21 I’ll decide” type of thing. Then with the mission age change I was pretty set on going. The only problem was that I had absolutely NO desire of going. It sounded like the worst thing ever. I didn’t even want to pray about it because I didn’t want a chance of it being right for me. Then it hit me that I am a girl, I don’t have to go.. so that was that. I decided not to go and I felt good about it. for 6 months at least.}

So once a mission came to mind I closed my eyes and literally tried to be scared of a mission and push it out of my mind. (haha oops) But my mind wasn’t having it. Turns out it’s SUPER hard to deny something that is right. I wasn’t scared anymore. I thought about the things that could be scary about a mission.. aka everything, and none of it scared me. I only felt excited, and peace that I finally figured out my next step in life. I quickly read my Patriarchal Blessing afterwords and many parts in it clicked for me. There are a couple main parts in it that since the day I got it I kind of knew meant I would be some type of missionary, but I never wanted to think about it much hoping I was wrong. But reading it that night and knowing I was making the right decision was the best feeling ever. It feels so amazing knowing I’m finally letting myself submit to the will of God, rather than hoping He’ll let me do my own thing without guilt or fear.

The next morning right after class I called my mom to tell her my good news. She informed me that the night before around 1:30 AM when I told her I was reading talks because I couldn’t sleep (and obviously she couldn’t either) she said she knew I would serve a mission. She could just feel it. When I was chatting with her on the phone some scriptures came to mind that I read a couple months ago. Next to the scriptures I had written,

“Serve a mission? 11/9/12”

They read:

(D&C 11)

13 Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy;

 14 And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things ofrighteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.

 15 Behold, I command you that you need not suppose that you are called to preach until you are called.

 16 Wait a little longer, until you shall have my word, my rock, my church, and my gospel, that you may know of a surety my doctrine.

 17 And then, behold, according to your desires, yea, even according to your faith shall it be done unto you.

 18 Keep my commandments; hold your peace; appeal unto my Spirit;

¬†19¬†Yea,¬†cleave¬†unto me with all your heart, that you may assist in bringing to light those things of which has been spoken‚ÄĒyea, the translation¬†of my work; be patient until you shall accomplish it.

 20 Behold, this is your work, to keep my commandments, yea, with all your might, mind and strength.

 21 Seek not to declare my word, but first seek to obtain my word, and then shall your tongue be loosed; then, if you desire, you shall have my Spirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the convincing of men.

What is the most interesting part to me, is I have felt a change of heart in my studying habits. I have wanted to learn the gospel, and I have felt my testimony grow immensely. I didn’t know I was preparing myself to serve a mission by any means.. but I’m thankful for everything I went through to get me to this point. I’m thankful my Heavenly Father helped me obtain his word, and helped me gain more faith so that I can try to be an obedient missionary for Him.

In D&C 12 I also marked these scriptures the same time..

 3 Behold, the field is white already to harvest; therefore, whoso desireth to reap let him thrust in his sickle with his might, and reap while the day lasts, that he may treasure up for his soul everlasting salvation in the kingdom of God.

 4 Yea, whosoever will thrust in his sickle and reap, the same is called of God.

 5 Therefore, if you will ask of me you shall receive; if you will knock it shall be opened unto you.

 6 Now, as you have asked, behold, I say unto you, keep my commandments, and seek to bring forth and establish the cause of Zion.

 7 Behold, I speak unto you, and also to all those who have desires to bring forth and establish this work;

 8 And no one can assist in this work except he shall be humble and full of love, having  faith, hope, and charity, being temperate in all things, whatsoever shall be entrusted to his care.

 9 Behold, I am the light and the life of the world, that speak these words, therefore give heed with your might, and then you are called. Amen.

I’m still unsure of why Heavenly Father decided it’s okay for me to go at this time, maybe it’s for myself, maybe it’s for my family, or the people I will meet and teach.. But I’m super thankful it is now. Don’t get me wrong, I am very nervous now that the reality has set in. My bishop counseled me to remember the feelings I felt when the spirit first testified to me that this decision was a good one. He reminded me that Satan will work harder than he ever has. Especially when the time comes closer for me to go through the temple. He said, “He will make you doubt. But don’t give in.” Oh BOY have I felt doubts already. One of the greatest feelings ever though is knowing I’m being tempted, knowing my original decision was and still is correct, and that I can ask my Father in Heaven for help. The spirit continues to reconfirm to me that a mission is right for me.

I’ve felt unsure of myself, doubtful that I can leave my family for so long, unsure of my abilities to learn in the MTC, to teach by the spirit at all times, to stay motivated and obedient… pretty much every area I could feel doubt in.. I’ve felt it. I’ve felt feelings of embarrassment in telling people my decision, that they might judge me as a person, judge my capabilities and my motives. Although those feelings are strong, and some come often, I’ve never felt a lack of love from Heavenly Father. I’ve felt the spirit closer than ever, and I’ve felt more purpose to my mission on this Earth. I’ve had a greater understanding in the things I read and study, I’ve felt more love for the people around me, I’ve had more patience and confidence, and I’ve felt less judgmental and more forgiving.

I have a testimony of my Father in Heaven, my Savior Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. I know they have my best interest in mind, they see what I can become, they love me and they bid me to come follow Christ. I know Joseph Smith was and is a true prophet of God. I admire his faith and obedience more than ever before. I understand more to a small degree how much faith it took for a 14 year old to do the things he did. It gives me hope, although I’m not a prophet of God, that through the Atonement, and through my faith, I can fulfill my mission as Lexi Glauser, as well as Sister Glauser and as a 20 year old daughter of God. I know the Book Of Mormon is another testament of Christ. The spirit testifies to me that it is the true word, and I feel so blessed to know men of faith gave their lives proclaiming it’s truths and protecting it, so that I can read from it every day. I’m so grateful for my Savior. I’m grateful that because He stood alone, and gave His life, I don’t have to. I can live again because Christ loves me enough as an individual, to suffer my sins and die for me. Even though I understand that a mission will be hard work, and will take 18 months of my life far from my family, I still feel that it is a small, small sacrifice to show my Savior I love him.

And now that I have my call to the South Carolina Columbia Mission, I want to add that I’m super, super excited. Right now I don’t feel nervous ONE bit. I feel comforted and excited. I prayed so, so hard that I would love the place I am called to and that I would have an understanding that there is a reason for me to serve there. I know without a doubt that prayers are answered. My Heavenly Father gave me that understanding and I am so excited to teach the people in South Carolina. I know that I was preparing before this life, to answer to THIS SPECIFIC call to serve, and as I continue to prepare and ask for my Saviors help, I can feel myself becoming a little more ready everyday.

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