For a Wise and Glorious Purpose Thou Hast Placed Me Here on earth.

I feel like Heavenly Father has made it obvious that the lesson I’ve needed in my life these past three weeks is PATIENCE. It took three weeks for me to become aware of my impatience I’ve had with myself, and especially with God’s timing.

Patience is the capacity to endure affliction without anger, anxiety, worrying or being nervous. Being patient is following Gods timing and will. To fully “Let Thy will be done.”  To me, patience is clearly a Godly attribute. Which honestly scares me to death that I struggle with it so bad, when it’s undoubtedly an attribute we all need.

It’s sometimes hard for me to go with the flow. Ever since I decided to go on a mission I’ve been 1,000 X’s more worried about marriage. LIKE AM I GOING TO BE A GRANDMA AND NEVER MARRY? I dissect my Patriarchal Blessing over and over again. I rehearse in my head how old I’ll be when I get home, and how every guy I’ve ever known will already be married, and my best friends will all have six kids going on seven. I’ll meet lots of single guys at college and they’ll all find out I’m an RM and freak out and go date then marry all the new 18 year old freshman. (lol oh yeah my mission is only 18 months not 12 years.)

But seriously! It freaks me out! Why can’t I just have a glimpse of who my husband will be, and what my family will be like?? I show Heavenly Father my impatience every single day just by the small worried thoughts that fly by in my mind. Neil A Maxwell said,

“Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His. Either way we are questioning the reality of God’s omniscience as if, as some seem to believe, God were on some sort of postdoctoral fellowship and were not quite in charge of everything.”

Holy cow. 

I pray every single day to feel the spirit stronger and help prepare me for what’s coming in my future, and the motivation to do it. But then 5 minutes later I think, “Who am I going to marry? I want to marry someone exactly that is this way, or that way. Man, I really wish I wasn’t going through this right now. WHY AM I GOING THROUGH THIS RIGHT NOW? Why do I have to go on a mission at this time instead of earlier? I’m 20! Almost 21! What was the point in changing the age when I didn’t even heed to the call and go a year and a half ago?” Etc. Obviously that’s pretty dramatic. But really, I do question why my life is happening the way it is, rather than the way I planned it in my head. I didn’t realize that every single day, my impatience is a flashing red light showing Satan and Heavenly Father that I am questioning the reality of God’s omniscience. And what better way to lose the spirit, and the Light than to question God’s timing, and show Satan that I am shakable, and weak.

The good news is that God is patient with us. (Like I said, patience is a Godly attribute) He is there to lift us up. He is there to give us patience to endure. He’s there to help us understand that patience isn’t just getting bye with a  smile on your face, but more to know that it’s enduring because we’ll be happier that way, and more refined.

Elder Maxwell puts it perfect,

“Patience helps us to use, rather than to protest, these seeming flat periods of life, becoming filled with quiet wonder over the past and with anticipation for that which may lie ahead, instead of demeaning the particular flatness through which we may be passing at the time. We should savor even the seemingly ordinary times, for life cannot be made up all of kettledrums and crashing cymbals. There must be some flutes and violins. Living cannot be all crescendo; there must be some dynamic contrast.”

How much happier my mission will be because of the extra preparation I’ve gotten from not leaving right when I was 19 when the age was changed. How much happier I will be to find a husband who has prepared for me, and I for him for at LEAST 18 extra months. How much more LOVE I will have for my family from leaving them for 18 months, to help other families become closer to the Lord. There are literally no “cons”, “downs” or “negatives” to being patient, and trusting in the Lord’s timing. I can’t say it is easy, but I know from experience that God does know me personally, and He knows exactly what will make me a better person, more God-like, and more prepared to live with Him again. He has placed me on this Earth for a wise and glorious purpose. With my impatience I’ll never understand my purpose, but with the patience He gives me, I will be able to do His will and find my purpose. And because I know that, I know that when I ask in faith to receive more patience, He gladly gives me enough to get by until I ask again. He waits for me to asks so that He can bless me. For that I’m extremely grateful, and definitely humbled.

With patience from God, we can literally fulfill any wise and glorious purpose He has created us for. It just makes sense that if God put us here for a glorious purpose, then He has a glorious way for us to follow patiently.

If you want to read an INCREDIBLE talk, pull out your dictionary and keep it near as you read Patience, by Neil A. Maxwell.

Happy Sunday xoxo

– Lex

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The Lord Will Qualify Me

The Lord did indeed call me in my weakness. But with faith, He will also qualify me for His work.

Unlike the world, when I do something that is in accordance to what my Heavenly Father wants me to do, He helps me fit the part. Rather than the other, where you must fit the part before you can do anything. It’s interesting that to get a job, you must have experience. Which to me makes absolutely no sense. You can’t receive experience until you experience it, right? If it were up to the worlds standards for me to go on a mission, I’d never be able to go. I’ve never walked door to door every day for 18 months before. I’ve never woken up at 6:00 AM only to follow an exact schedule for 18 months. I’ve never lived far from home just to be transferred every few weeks to live with a different girl every time. I’ve for sure never ridden a bike in a skirt before! It’s literally one of the last things I want to do. I’m just thankful Heavenly Father calls me to the work, not the president.

In my favorite General Conference talk, The Challenge to Become, Elder Oaks says,

“In contrast to the institutions of the world, which teach us to know something, the gospel of  Jesus Christ challenges us to become something.”

The world wants us to know something. They want us to know exactly how to file important papers. They want us to know how to do the things a business man would know how to do, even before we do it. The Lord wants us to become something. He wants to become the business man that understands why he is filing those papers in a certain way. He wants us to become the business man that understands why it’s important and does it because he is a business man. Not just because he knows how to do it, or is just following the motions because the boss told him too. The Lord wants the business man’s thoughts and actions to be for real intent, because they love what their doing and they understand it’s important. Not just because he knows how.

Maybe that’s a crazy, crazy way to look at it, but it makes it more simple to me. Heavenly Father isn’t setting me up to fail. He isn’t making me know how to do all the missionary things before I was called or even now as I prepare to go. He has called me, and with my faithfulness and His saving grace, I will be qualified. It is scary though. Like I said, I’ve never been a missionary. It’s hard just preparing for the MTC (the place where you go to for real prepare) to become a missionary. It’s hard to get through my head that I need to become a missionary. Right now, just as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I don’t need to study just because missionaries do that sort of thing. I need to become one.

In Brad Wilcox’s book, The Continuous Conversion, He talks about the same thing. He explains it as learning not earning. Rather than knowing/earning (racking up points from the boss because you know how to file papers), it’s about becoming/learning (to be a business man and understanding the importance of becoming that person.)  He says,

“I take one day at a time, one hour at a time, and sometimes even one minute at a time, but I don’t give up because I know my efforts will pay off. Not because of all I’m earning, but because of all I’m learning (or becoming.) Earning can lead to pressure, competition, and even rebellion and apathy. Learning can lead to humility, patience, cooperation, growth, and enthusiasm.”

What I love about preparing for a mission is the fact that I know my efforts will pay off. I feel my Savior teaching me, lifting me up, and qualifying me. All though I’m far from becoming a 100% qualified missionary (or qualified human being), I don’t feel pressure, competition, rebellion or apathy. I can tell Heavenly Father is teaching me humility, patience and growth even though sometimes all I want to do is resist.
I love being a part of this gospel. I love that we are humbled just by knowing we don’t have all the power we think we do, and Christ will show us how to gain the power He has, and become like He is. We’re not expected to be perfect paper filers before actually getting the job. We’re expected to follow the steps that Christ has shown us, so that we can slowly become perfect business men or women.
I’m not going to be the best missionary because I’ve hit my total amount in brownie points from attending the temple or reading Preach My Gospel, I’m going to qualify as a Missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints because my Savior is helping me learn how to become one.
I think this hymn sums up my feelings exactly,
“So trusting my all to thy tender care,
And knowing thou lovest me,
I’ll do thy will with a heart sincere:
I’ll be what you want me to be.”
If He can teach a 14 year old boy how to restore the gospel fully, I know without a doubt He can teach me how to be a missionary. I know that because I felt the spirit testify to me it’s what He wants me to do, and I know He wouldn’t have me do anything I’m not capable of learning through the spirit.
Although most people would think, (and I DID think before I got my call) that, “It’s just a mission. It’s only 1 1/2- 2 years. It really isn’t that big of a deal Lexi. You really should relax about it”  I’ve come to realize that it is a big deal. This is the Lords work. I wasn’t expecting to be called, and in reality I wasn’t exactly hoping for it either. But I can’t deny the spirit I felt that told me this is my next step in life, and even though it will be difficult, especially for me (the homesick queen) I know that it is the work of God, and I have been called. I echo Elder Anderson’s strong testimony,
“I have heard President Monson say, “Whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies.” I know this is true, and it gives me hope looking beyond my own inadequacies. I know that when we are on the Lord’s errand, he will be with us, he will strengthen us, he will build our capacities. I have experienced it. I have felt his lifting Spirit. In the months and years ahead, I will need him so very much.”
– (The future) Sister Glauser The Second
(LOLZ guys I’m going to sign every letter home, “Sister Glauser II”)
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